Old Easel

Unravel the tangled phrases

Walk beyond the lines of past

You are but a faded memory

a reminder of grudge

lying beneath the bones of stupidity.

A reminder of joyful memories

yet a scar of shattered happiness.

Pretty things come to an end

For indeed it's for the best.

Dream Knight

There's this thing I've been avoiding

Inevitable, irresistible, unexplainable

The fire that's pressure quakes my mind

The thunder that's but a hint of fear

Those tantalizing whip of sight

Like the warmth of the orange of dusk

The calm posture against the wall

It makes knees want to fall

The messy hair is a magnet

To the brush of the sensitive fingertips 

The silhouette of delicately carved bridge

Pointing down to the sweetest curves of his falling lips

Seducing… hypnotizing.

Thy jaws as brusque as the chest

It’s where Maria would gladly rest.

You are the brightest diamond

Seductive on ebony skies

That she admires, dreams, and loves.

But you are a stake of reality,

Like the star in darkest nights

Vanishes in the zenith of the sun

Best off in the distant from the crust of cold passion.

 

“Magic Sarap”

(Sariling wakas sa nobela ni Valeriano H. Peña.)

Sa gabi ng kaarawan ni Isko, masayang nagdiwng ang mga tagabaryo sa kanyang piging maliban sa mag-asawang Neneng at Narciso. Sa takot ni Neneng na magselos si Narciso ay umiwas na lamang siya sa imbitasyon at nagdesisyong sorpresahin na lamang ang asawa ng kanyang lutong espesyal na adobo at nakakakam na chicken burger with tomatoes, lettuce at kesong Mozarella, at nakakalusog na fruit salad at malamig na coke sakto, tiyak mapapawi ang pagod nito. Habang hinahalo ng maybahay ag mga sangkap ay nabatid niyang kulang pa ang adobo ng silverswan toyo. Pumunta siya sa tindahan ni Aling Nena at dun nagkrus ang landas nila ng naglulumbay na si Isko na mukhang nakainom ng suka marahil na rin sa hindi pagdalo ng dilag sa piging. Binati ni Isko ang sinisinta at nginitian lang naman siya nito. Laglag ang puso ng lasing kaya inanyaya niya ng Redhorse si Neneng. Pinaunlakan ni Neneng ang imbitasyon sa kondisyong uuwi na agad siya pagkatapos ng isang shat. Hindi niya nais matamaan…sa kanyang bana. Nasarapan naman ito kaya bumili na rin siya ng isang the Bar Lemon at limang bote ng Tanduay Ice 5% alcohol para pagsaluhan nilang mag-asawa. Nagpaalam na ito kay Isko na titig na titig sa papalayong bitwin. Naglakad pauwi nang biglang nabali ang killer heels na Leopard print pa, nabasag ang the Bar! Dali-dali naming inalalayan ng desperado ang babae. Pinahiram na lamang ang pekeng crocs na tsinelas sa mutya. Bitbit ni Neneng ang mga alak habang tumatakbo dahil baka naubos na ng mga magnanakaw na pusakal ang kanilang pulutan este espesyal na ulam. Samantala, hindi na mapigilan ni Isko ang kanyang damdamin kaya sinundan niya ang idolong dilag sa tahanan. Nayanig si Neneng sa biglang pagpasok ni Isko sa pamamahay. Lumapit ang matipuno ngunit medyo bastos sa dilag, tinitigan ng mapupungay na mata ang sing itim ng gabing walang bituin na buhok, na tila alon ng karagatan ang pagbagsak sa balingkinitang katawan ng manipis na baro’t sayang tila nais kumawala upang mabatid ng matangkad at gwapong binata ang nakatagong kariktan. Hinila, sapilitang hinalikan, at pinunit ang damit! Nagpumiglas ang babae ngunit di hamak na di lamang doble ngunit triple ang lakas ng lalaki. Dinala siya sa California king bed. Sa isang banda naman habang naglalakad pauwi si Narciso ay biglang kaba sa dibdib. Hindi niya mawari kung saan nagmumulaang nasabing damdamin na tila dama ang daing ng nanglulumong maybahay. Sabay rinig galing sa di kalayuan ang sigaw, “Narciso sundan mo ang amoy!” tumakbo si Narciso at buong-lakas na giniba ang pinto. Nang marinig ni Isko ang yabag ng tulong,  ay dali-daling nagsuot ng pantalon at sa aksyong pagtakas ay nabigtas naman ang peke niyang crocs na tsinelas na nagging dahilan ng pgkahulog nito sa balkonahe. Lungkot na lungkot si Narciso sa nakalupaypay na sinta. Sa halip na sumbatan, pandirian,at kaawaan, niyakap niya ng mahigpit ang minamahal at sinabi ng walang bahid na showbiz ang mga salitang,”Mahal, pangako sa iyo hindi magbabago ikaw lang ang iibigin ko. Asahang di magbabago, ang pag-ibig ko’y para sa’yo lamang kung kaya giliw dapat mong malaman, minsan lang kitang iibigin, minsan lang kitang mamahalin. Ang pagmamahal sa’yo ay walang hangganan dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman.” Binigyan ni Narciso ng matamis na halik ang giliw sa malambot nitong pisngi na may dumadaloy pang ga luha ng pait at kawalan.

Simula nuon ay walang sawa nang pinupuno ni Narciso ang araw ni Neneng ng tapat at matamis na pag-ibig. Si Isko naman ay pinagbayaran ang kawalang hiyaan sa Muntinlupa at kinalaunay nagsisi at iginugol ang bakanteng mga oras sa paghabi ng basket, paggagantsilyo ng basahan at pagdarasal. Sa paglipas ng mga taon ay lalo naming pinagtibay ang kanilang relasyon ng anak na si Lady Gaga. Diyan na nagtatapos ang kwento ng Magic Sarap. Ang mahikang taglay ng tunay at matamis na pag-iibigan ay kailanman ay hindi mapapabagsak ng masalimuot na pangyayari. Ang tanikalang nagbibigkis sa kanilang mga puso ay maaring kalawangin ngunit kailanm’y hinding- hindi mapuputol ng anuman o ninuman.

What is a color, but a touch of light.

What is an art, but a heartfelt vision.

What is existence, but a fulfillment of wisdom.

  

My plea goes in vain,

for you but the deaf whose only true heart listens.

Obvious tears vanish with your disregard to see.

So sudden, the thunder awakes the numb senses

where love had once exist

That, long gone, withered as sullen self should be.

Billy Joel - She's Always a Woman to Me

Fallen

“Unang Karanasan”

Tumalon, tumakbo, sumigaw, at maglaro. Dagundong na iyak sa lobong napakawalan, sakit ng ngipin sa kending kinatatakman, at saya ng pagtampisaw sa ulan na tila wala nang kinabukasan. Oo nga naman, sa aking kamusmusan, mga kalagayan na di na mababalikan, at mga oras na sa laro lamang inilaan.

Tandang-tanda ko pa, huling taon ko na noon sa elementary, ang hilig maglaro pag oras na ng minindal. Sa di malamang rason, buong araw ay di ako mapakali at naiirita sa katabi. Pagkatapos ng eskwela ay umuwi na sa bahay. Nagbihis ng palda at nagulat sa nakitang mantsa! Ako’y mamamatay na. Anong sakit ito. Sana’y panaginip lamang. Dali-dali akong nagpalit ng salawal at tinapon ang namantsahan. Umiyak ako. Mamamatay na ba talaga ako? Paano ako magpapaalam sa mga kaibigan? Maghahabilin ng sulat? Hindi, maghahandog na lang ng despidida. Pagpasok ko sa kusina, medyo lumundag ang puso ko nang di ko natantong nandoon na pala ang aking ina.“Anung sabi?”(Vice Ganda version) tanong niya. Iyak nang iyak at nanginginig akong umamin. Tumawa lang siya habang ako ay kabang-kaba.Leukemia, hindi, baka sakit sa puso,o sakit na sa bato. Ako ba’y mapaparalisa? Makakalbo? Bigla namang sumilip ang ilaw sa pagbukas ng pinto ng sala. Ang kontrabida kong kapatid andiyan na.”Yucks! Ew! Disgusting! Gross! Nalapsan!” Ganap na dalaga nag bunso ko. Patama ni mama.  Nagtila apoy akong binuhusan ng tubig. “May pasador ka ba?”Hhayst… Sino nga ba ang makakalimot ng J.S. prom. Black dress, killer heels, effortless!(KC version) Inanyaya  ako ni Buknoy na sumayaw. Tanaw ko ang mapupungay niyang mata at nagpapaligsahang pawis sa kalamigan ng gabi. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kaya hinawakan ko lang ang mga kamay niya at sinabayan ang indak ng Spring Waltz. Hindi ko mawari, hindi namin matingnan ang isa’t-isa. Ang kilig, ang hiya, tila ba kaytagal lumipas ng ilang minuto na kami ay magkasama. Pakiramdam ko ay tinitingnan kami ng lahat, pinag-uusapan, kagagalitan. Kaya pinutol ko ang pagkakataong iyon ng pagsabing, “uhmm, masakit na ang paa ko.” Nang pabalik na ako sa mesa, biglang may pwersang humila sa braso ko at dun, si Fernandito, ang kaklase ko na di masyadong kagwapuhan, kahawig lang naman ni Jericho Rosales…kung talento lang ang pagbabasihan. Sa gabing iyon ay inamin niya ang lihim na pagtingin at sa gabing iyon ay nagsimula ang espesyal naming samahan. Tumagal kami hanggang unang taon sa kolehiyo. Ngunit daho’y naaagnas, larawan ay kumukupas, gaya ng pag-ibig na di lumilipas. Ano ngayon? Hinanda ko na ang sarili ko sa ganitong kahahantungan. May mga kaibigan naman ako, hindi siya kawalan. Lumipas ang mga araw at dumating ang araw ng mga puso. Sana may humawak din sa kamay ko at magbigay ng chocomucho Vanilla flavor. Yung tipong maghahanda ng candlelit dinner sa rooftop. Pinag-aagawan ng  makukulay na series light ang liwanag ng buwan. Windang ang paglutang ng imahinasyon ko nang sa aking paglabas sa San Jose, saksi ng mga kawawa kong mata ang “inakalang-bff-ko-na-sukdulan-sa-kakapalan-ng-mukha” hawak ang bouquet na bigay ng una kong pag-ibig. Ang tamis ng kanilang pagsasamahan ay romang  nakapulupot sa puso kong tanga. Gusto kong tumakbo, tumakbo hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggan. Gusto kong matulog, matulog sa ugoy ng duyan ni inay. Gusto kong tumakas, gusto kong magising, gusto kong maging amnesia girl!pwede. Ngunit sadyang ganun talaga ang laro ng buhay, langit,lupa, impyerno. Gusto nating lahat nasa langit, pero meron pa ring humihila sa atin pababa. Tagu-taguan kaya para di na ako makita ng kalungkutan? Ah! Habulan na lang ikaw taya! Tanong ko dati, bakit ako? Ayaw sa’kin ng lobo, ako ang taya, sige na ako na lahat. Wala akong gana, nagkalagnat tuloy. Wala si mama, wala si papa. Dumungaw ako sa bintana…kuya ko parating! May dalang almusal. Bakit ko ba pinahihirapan ang sarili ko? Hindi naman ako nag-iisa. Pagkabigo’t alinlangan gumugulo sa isipan. Mga pagsubok lamang yan. Kaya ko yan. Alam ko na. Kinuha ko ang intermediate na papel, lapis, at pangkulay saka iginuhit ang bahay kubo kahit munti ang halaman doon ay sari-sari. Tirik na tirik ang sinag ni Haring Araw sa luntiang palayan.

Tayo lang ang gumuguhit ng ating kapalaran. Huwag natin sayangin ang bukas sa pagdadalamhati , sa halip gamitin ang leksyong iyon pagdating ng panahon. May silbi ang lahat, may rason ang bawat pangyayari. Ang buhay ay gulong ng palad, tumakbo, tumalon, sumigaw, at maglaro.

Which birthday are you in?

JANUARY

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to cont...rol emotions. Unpredictable.
...Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them MFE.

FEBRUARY=THUG

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH=GORGEOUS

Drop dead gorgeous!!! Attractive personality. Very sexy!!. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others . Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt!and quiet the charmer. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of the other 11 months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.likes to keep theyre crushes kinda secret.pretty much flawless.

APRIL=SEXY

Suave and compromising.. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic.. Hot but has brains.

MAY=LOVER

Hella sexy, loves sex n making luv, tends to be SOOOOO hott!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

JUNE =FINEASS

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takesrep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

JULY=GANGSTA

You’ve got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with a JUNE brithday. It is also more likely than that you have a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you’ve got the looks for it!!!

AUGUST=ATTITUDE

outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of “that someone”. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by “no pain no gain” caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. “charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious.. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

SEPTEMBER

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fullfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

OCTOBER=HOTTIE

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

NOVEMBER=SWEETIE

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck.. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

DECEMBER=BEAUTY

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Loves freedom. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.(http://www.facebook.com/groups/184052984945030/)

Daddy's Gift

It is every little girl’s dream to step out into that enchanting entrance of shimmering lights, ravishing gowns, stunning flowers, and lingering sophistication, to stand out and to proudly wear the crown of a lady. Yes, that night when she receives 18 roses, holds that 18 candles, slices that 18-row cake, and dances with 18 charming men and especially take that 18^th dance with her father and tells him, “Thank you papa for  the best gift ever.”

If hating one’s own birthday is a major crime, perhaps by now, I’d already be counting letters of the bible in Panama’s death row.

In my 18 years of experience, it has been proven that 9^th of October is just as ordinary as drinking a glass of water. Its nostalgic chilling night, its boring routinal weekday, and the absence of the loved ones due to business was too much to handle for a kid.  However, that October 9, 2010, a regular day for you but for me was “my” debut was incredible. Nothing extravagant, colorful, surprising whatsoever, even my siblings and mother weren’t there. But despite the disappointments, I stood grateful to God because 9^th of October is a gift that only lasts for 24 hours. He made it for me.Until papa accused me of doing something I never did. How can I forget? On my sweet 18^th, papa had upset me, papa made me cry. I slammed the door heavily and left him sitting in the dining area…not knowing of his sick heart condition. That day was the thorn of the 18^th rose, the rotten slice of cake, the darkest 9^th of October.

The next morning mama arrived from Biliran and managed to prepare muron paired with the best coffee in the whole world that only she can make. She hugged me tight and in an instant I seemed to have forgotten the worst yesterday. She kills my fears, she dries my tears, she heals my pain, and she loves my worst. I took a big bite of muron and turned to my father, “Thanks papa for the greatest gift of a lifetime.”

Be Dateable

By: Justin Lookadoo & Hayley Morgan

1. Accept the truth because it turns off the pressure. Truth…the relationship will NOT last!
2. How much you put in determines how much it will hurt when it ends. Self preservation!
3. Guys will lie to you to get what they want. This means we all have different ways of looking at things. When girls say I Love You, it’s paradise…FYI! guys don’t mean it LIKE THAT.
4. Sex enables a soul connection. Shut up and be mysterious! The only way to come out of the relationship feeling proud and strong is not to give in.

Keep this in mind before & throughout the relationship:

HOW DO I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

• I am mature and mysterious. Fun, smart, witty, delicate, sensitive, and pretty…prettier, and sexy, not just physically.
• So, I will preserve myself. I will lower my pride so that I can understand him and the situation. I will listen and keep an open-mind. I will not hide any pain so that it will not snowball into a grudge and I will tell him how I truly feel without being selfish, immature, and insensitive. I will still spend time with my friends without making him feel unimportant. I will discover  and go out of the usual WITH him in order to make “us” cool, hip, and fun. I will also spend time alone to reflect and make myself healthier, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I must keep my deepest and darkest secrets to myself.

5. Be the treasure that got away.

• Be mysterious.
• Be adventurous.
• Get involved.Bonus! Boys want what they can’t have.
• Be creative. Get our and live life to the fullest.
• Be a carefree spirit.
• Laugh. Your body doesn’t know the difference between the fake and the real laugh.
• Be positive. The world already has too many negative vibes going around. People want to be around others who have good stuff to say, and that includes your crush.
• Ask questions. The first way to get people to think you are cool is to get them talking about their favorite subject, themselves.

6. People who lie are liars.Some friends are…

• Faced.Go ahead, think and know about your friends now because you know what they’re doing to you when you’re not around.
• Blabbermouth. If you have a friend that is always “confiding” in you and telling you other people’s secrets, do not tell that person anything.
• Loverboy. He will scam to get you so he will scam to get rid of you.Vice-versa.4u=2u…Girls, you control how fat you get!

7.Change your actions and you will change your character.